Good Eats – a week in the life of #ConnieEats

*KLAXON* FOOD PORN ALERT. If you don’t like looking at photos of food, then I suggest you leave now.

This week has been somewhat unusual in that I had quite a few meals out. Contrary to popular belief, I don’t eat out half as often as I used to/people think I do. This is a bit of a conscious effort to be a bit more ‘responsible’ with my money, and also an opportunity for me to do more experimenting in my own kitchen. This month eating out was a bit of a luxury as I am still bankrupt from buying a new car. However, needs must.

Stop no. 1 was Itihaas on Newhall Street, a Brummy classic. I had been once before and embarrassed myself by asking the waiter if they could add saag to my order. Of course not. You don’t ruin a dish that has been carefully thought through by an excellent chef, by adding bloody spinach. I’m a sucker for lamb curries; tender meat, aromatic spices and a little (or a lot) of heat to round it all off. Rice and bread are both necessary.

I was lucky enough to be dining with friends who like to share their food, so share we did! We ordered Nalli Gosht, ‘Lamb on the bone stewed in a spicy, thick masala gravy’ – everything I love about lamb curries; tender meat on the bone and the surprise bit of heat afterwards! Prawn & Scallop Mustard Seed Curry, ‘Pan seared Scallops & Fresh Water prawns cooked in creamy sauce with mustard seeds’ – but less the scallops because there weren’t any available. A tomatoey sauce that wasn’t particularly creamy but definitely aromatic without overpowering the prawns. Chicken Biryani was next (no description needed, right?!), it came in this ornate silver dish which held enough to feed 2! On top of this we decided to order THE MOST DELICIOUS Mushroom and Truffle Oil Pilau which was full of umami, and an excessively large basket of breads. A wonderful night was had! However, most importantly, Itihaas is part of the Let’s Feed Brum project which aims to encourage local people and businesses to get involved with the rising problem of homelessness in the city. The restaurant is currently looking for donations of clothes, sleeping bags and sanitary products to pass on through their team of dedicated volunteers. Find out more about their challenge here.

Wednesday = Ginner. Well, any day can mean Ginner in my opinion. A catch up with a friend over gin and foods is always the highlight of my week. This week’s Ginner took place at the Lost & Found, one of my favourite places for drinky poos. For some reason I really wanted fish and chips, probably because I was missing my mum’s fried goods? (My mum has gone on holiday, leaving me to cover her shift in the takeaway which is… 2 hours away). The triple-fried chips were a bit unnecessary – once is fine by me. Especially when they’re frozen ones and not fresh ones (yes, I can tell from over 2 decades of training). The fish was coated in a light batter, tartar sauce had a lotta pickles in, which I actually kind of liked.



Thursday night came a bit of spontaneous dining with some wonderful delegates from the Costume, Culture and Dress conference that took place at BCU. Not being able to make the conference itself because of work commitments, it was lovely to take time out to meet the researchers and academics in a more social environment. Dinner was served at Birmingham Museum and Art Gallery which was a winner because we also got to view the Pre-Raphaelite collection out of hours! It brought back so many memories of my early days in Brum – I actually chose to study up here because of that ridiculously-fantastic collection.

Dinner was pleasant with great company, although there was some confusion between the waiting staff about what we were eating… nevermind, it was all yum! Scallop on some lentilly-tomatoey-spicey soup (we were never told what this was!) followed by chicken, gratin and some veg, finished with a rich-so-so-rich chocolate fondant served with pistachio ice cream and… cream. I wish I hadn’t eaten so much of the chicken as I couldn’t finish that dessert *mega sad face*. Well done BMAG for serving actual nice food.


The highlight of my weekend was a catch-up brunch in Bristol with my BFF in the South West (Bestest Foodie Friend). I’ve been heading back the past 2 weeks to help my dad in the takeaway (6-day working week! Noooooo) so I saw it as an opportunity to catch up on some gossips. I always like to try somewhere new and independent where I can – thanks to guidance from my BFF. Low and behold, we discovered Pinkmans. YOU NEED TO GO THERE NOW IF YOU HAVEN’T BEEN ALREADY (scroll down for visual references as to why).

It’s situated on trendy (does anyone use that word anymore?) Park Street which is usually swarming with students. However, the Sunday vibe was a little different; laid back locals on their day off. You walk in and you’re hit in the face with a beautiful display of pastries, cakes, sandwiches, salads… you get my drift? It all looked so wholesome and delectable at the same time. I’ve never drooled over a beetroot salad before.

We were both in brunch-mode so opted for bacon, oven-baked eggs and toast (with a side of avo for me). We were greeted with half a pig, each. I don’t think I’ve ever seen this much good-quality bacon on my plate before. Thick, thick rashers sat next to perfectly-cooked eggs that were not swimming in oil. Eating this made me feel virtuous. On our way out we nabbed ourselves a sour-dough-nut each (cinder toffee, obvs), their in-house speciality. Mine is still sat in it’s box waiting to be eaten for dessert… *stuffs face*



This is how breakfast should look everyday.




Little rolls filled with salmon and cucumber on display



SOUR-DOUGH-NUTS OMG. (Front to back: cinder toffee, chocolate, and rhubarb, raspberry and yoghurt)


Bread sticks filled with posh ham and cheese

If you managed to scroll down this far – first of all, well done and secondly – that concludes my week of good eats! Hopefully more to come soon!

(Yes, I’ve now eaten the doughnut; BEST DOUGHNUT EVER)

Migraine in the Membrane – #ConnieTalks #MentalHealthAwarenessWeek

This post isn’t anything to do with travel, culture or good eats but I feel that I need to share my migraine journey with you all as this week is #mentalhealthawarenessweek. Both my physical and mental health has had a lot to do with the frequency and duration of my migraines so I’m going to talk a bit about why I get them and how I cope with them. Ironically, when I first started putting together this post (last week), I was a bit cocky and started this post with ‘Today marks 10 weeks since my last migraine attack…’. Sods law I went and had a migraine the next day.

Background info: my dad has had migraines since I can remember. I didn’t start getting migraines until I was in my mid-twenties. At the time they were hormone-related; it was advised that I came off my oral contraceptive as the tingling I was feeling on the left side of my face during my migraines, was something akin to strokes. The migraines then came on very occasionally, often during periods of immense stress and lack of sleep. Nothing unusual there.

In 2014 or so, they started coming back more frequently. This tallied with the stress and anxiety that I was suffering from due to changes at work and in my personal life (I was diagnosed with anxiety in 2015, although I do not suffer from it much now). A lot of it had to do with money worries too; my full-time fixed term contract was coming to an end and the best offer my employer could give me was a part-time fixed term contract. I was already earning a pittance and there was no way I could afford that job, especially as I had to pay to commute to another city for it. At the time I felt like I wasn’t achieving anything professionally, my romantic life was volatile to say the least, and I was facing a challenge that I simply didn’t have the energy to overcome. Too much over-thinking led to too little sleep and so the migraines came and went, and came… and went.

However, things started to look up when I began to remove all the negative factors in my life: a new job and a new home etc. I focused on the positive rather than the negative (easier said than done) but as my worrying began to subside, my migraines started coming back even more frequently and inconsistently; they happened when I wasn’t stressed, had had loads of sleep, and when I was generally quite hunky dory with life. They lasted longer – 2 days, then 4 days, then 2 weeks. They came more frequently – every month, every fortnight etc. You get where this is going. I was so dazed and confused from them, I must have come across as a bit weird at work. I experience immense pain, weird eye-focusing issues, and say words wrong (transient aphasia, I believe). The only way I could get rid of them was to take a concoction of painkillers and sleep for what felt like forever. Trips to the doctors led to painkillers, triptans, then finally anti-depressants which apparently have a muscle-relaxing side-effect. None of these worked consistently. From last October (when I started the anti-depressants), I was still getting migraines every 4-5 weeks regardless of stress or lack of sleep.

One dark January evening I was scrolling through YouTube when I stumbled upon this video of a chiropractor treating a patient with an extreme migraine attack (I’ve since learned that the said chiropractor has been banned from working with children after a controversial video of him treating a small baby). I admit that by this point, I was desperate and began doing some further internet research. Turns out that there’s a chiropractor near me, with a practitioner who happens to specialise in headaches. I booked myself in immediately.

My first appointment was an eye-opener, mainly because I had an x-ray taken pretty much immediately. That x-ray has pretty much changed my life:


My neck to the left, a ‘normal’ neck to the right.

The x-ray was revealed to me during my second appointment. In case you haven’t noticed, my neck basically bends in the wrong direction, known as ‘cervical kyphosis’. The main problem with my diagnosis was that the gaps between each vertebra are narrow, causing pressure on nerves which connect to the muscles over my skull and my fingers (this is a really basic explanation!). This has the potential to cause headaches and in my case, migraines. The likely cause of this was the use of forceps when I was born (my dear mother was in labour for 3 days, I do not judge her at all). Although chiropractic treatment won’t fix my ‘banana neck’, hopefully it’ll ease the attacks and make them less frequent.

So, what’s gone down since I started treatment in late January? I started seeing the chiropractor once a week but in the past 3-4 weeks, this has reduced to every 10-14 days instead. I’ve halved my migraine medication as well. The result so far… I’ve had no unexplained migraines! By ‘unexplained’ I mean those that I can’t put down to lack of sleep or stress, and even those have drastically reduced. The quality of the migraines have changed, they are less painful and disruptive. I can think clearly and talk *almost* as incoherently as I normally do. The longest stretch of 9.5 weeks without a migraine was a real milestone for me. It’s been over a year since I’ve gone without one for that long. Of course I’ve had to change my lifestyle a bit too; not too many late nights, less gin drinking (this is the hardest) and less pressure on myself to do ‘that bit extra’. I started eating better (or rather, more routinely with few late night dinners as a result of working late) and cooking better too.

Lastly, it has taken a long time for me to change my mindset, focusing on what I have achieved, rather than what I haven’t. Would you believe that at one point I dismissed my PhD  thinking ‘loads of other people have a PhD, mine isn’t anything special’. WTF. I WROTE A BLOODY PHD FFS. OF COURSE IT’S IMPORTANT AND SPECIAL. 80,000 WORDS. 80,000 WORDS ALL FROM MY BRAIN. And English isn’t even my first language. I have a lifetime’s worth of over-achieving to reconcile, so now is a time to achieve things slightly differently. I now focus my attentions on enjoying whilst achieving, and this blog is all part of communicating that process. I have returned to my love of making; turning the stress of having to do up my flat into a creative project instead, crocheting all sorts of random crap for people because I find it really therapeutic, and finally, journalling my cooking. For those who are suffering from migraines, I recommended stopping and checking in with yourself; self-care is so, so important. Take care of yourself first, whether you’re a migraine sufferer or not!



Bank holidays mean two things for me: excessive sleeping and a chance to get creative in the kitchen. I was a lucky bunny this weekend as I was fed by others, three evenings in a row. Yes, THREE EVENINGS. For one of the evenings, I thought maybe I should show willing and bake a little sweet treat for desert.

I used to bake A LOT. When I first moved up to Birmingham I went into some sort of baking frenzy. To the point where I set up Connie’s Cake Emporium (yeah, the website is still live but I no longer bake to order so please don’t call me to order anything). It all came to a natural end when I got a proper full time job. Turns out juggling full time work (with a commute to a whole other city) and baking to-order meant that I got very little sleep. Unfortunately, the baking had to give.

Having moved last year and not having a functioning kitchen for about 6 months, I didn’t get to bake at all. In fact, I think I lost my baking mojo a little bit. So it was a bit of a relief this weekend when I got a bit of time to get back into the swing of baking. However, all was not well.

Now, I have a bit of a love-hate relationship with pastry. It turns out great if I wing it (e.g. don’t weigh the ingredients) but as soon as I follow a recipe… may the wrath be upon me. I am a big fan of Rachel Allen so I figured, why not try her Passionfruit and Lemon Tart? I should have known it was going to be a fail when I couldn’t find any passionfruit, a super lemony tart it was going to have to be. The recipe itself was really easy to follow and assemble, until the actual baking part.

I followed the recipe and all was well until the part where I had to take it out of the oven… it still looked really wobbly. According to Rachel, the tart should only wobble ‘a little bit’. WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? To me, the tart was still very wobbly so I put it back in the oven. BIG MISTAKE. Because this happened:


The saddest lemon tart, ever. Or ‘lemon quiche’ as my sister so kindly put it.

Yes. somehow I managed to make a lemon quiche instead of a tart. This simply will not do. In hindsight, I should have just taken it out when it was, to me, still ‘quite wobbly’. Lesson learnt so let’s move on.

As the Lemon Quiche was not beautiful enough to take to a dinner party, I decided to bung together a flourless chocolate cake instead. Dead simple recipe, can’t get it wrong. Phew, those were not my famous last words. Turns out that Delicious magazine haven’t published the recipe online so here it is (slightly adjusted because I used all dark chocolate instead of half dark and half milk), typed by my own fingers, just for you all:


  • 300g dark chocolate
  • 250g butter (A WHOLE BLOCK!), plus some extra to grease
  • 200g caster sugar
  • 4 large eggs, separated (free range, obvs)
  • 1tsp vanilla essence/vanilla bean paste
  • 1/2 tsp cream of tartar

You will also need a 23cm springform cake tin with the base lined and sides greased. An oven will help too.



1. Preheat your oven to 180ºC/160º fan/gas mark 4. Put the chocolate and butter in a heavy-based saucepan and melt on a low heat. Once melted, add 100g of the sugar and stir. Put the pan aside to cool slightly before transferring mixture into a large mixing bowl. Proceed to add the vanilla and egg yolks – mix well but do not beat.


Is that enough chocolate?


Don’t think I added enough butter.

2. Now, I have the luxury of a Kitchen Aid with a balloon whisk attachment – if you don’t have one, a hand-held electric beater will be as good. Shove the egg whites in a super clean bowl (the tiniest bit of fat will be problematic for the meringue mix) and whisk the hell out of it. When it becomes foamy, add your cream of tartar. Continue whisking until you get stiff peaks – when you lift your whisk out of the mix, the egg whites should stand stiff and upright. Whisk in the remaining 100g of sugar, one tablespoon at a time until you get a delightfully thick, white, glossy meringue.



Fluffy fluffy.

3. Mix a spoonful of your meringue mix into your chocolate mixture to ‘loosen’ it. Continue to fold in the remaining meringue in 4-5 additions. Use a large metal spoon and a figure-of-eight motion, scrape the sides of the bowl, then fold the mix over the top of itself, giving the bowl a quarter turn each time. Don’t forget to scrape the bottom of your bowl to make sure you’ve incorporated all that chocolately goodness.



4. Spoon the batter into your cake tin and bake for 40 minutes or until the mixture has risen and starts to crack on the top. Don’t worry about too many cracks – they will become crevices for holding cream/ice cream. Cool the cake in the tin – serve warm or at room temperature with dairy goodness of your choice!

Word of advice: the cake will deflate A LOT but fret not, it will taste real good.

Oh my days this cake is like a really intense brownie. But better. Slightly crumbly, rich but incredibly light considering that each mouthful contains about a tablespoon of butter. We ate this with a cup of tea but it would benefit from pouring cream, ice cream, or even custard if you dare. A real easy, faff-free recipe!







This weekend, it was all about making stuff. As I mentioned in my previous post, the brilliant Steve and Zoe of the Dual Works ran their first Girls with Power Tools workshop and I was lucky enough to be one of the participants. It was a great to have a refresher on my still relatively-new DIY skills. The best part? We got to put our knowledge into action to make our very own shelves!

The first part of the morning covered basic tools, types of timber (I fell in love with MDF about 2 decades too late), and ways to cut the timber. Then came the big challenge – SHELF MAKING! I was a bit stumped as I wasn’t actually expecting this and after some panic-designing in my head, I decided to make a shelf/ledge for my spare room. You can never have enough ledges, right? I wanted to use materials that I’d not used before so MDF and Plywood were on my cards. I also wanted to combine some more challenging techniques as I’m pretty au fait with cutting straight lines (that’s not to say I’m any good at it!), drilling and screwing. With the MDF, I decided to round off my corners, fully expecting it to go horribly wrong. However, after some advice from Zoe, I accomplished some very rounded corners indeed! Hello MDF – my new BFF!



My shelf/ledge consisted of some basic components: a back, shelf with an extra lip to stop things from sliding off, plus some hooks on the underside because… I always have more crap to hang from hooks (mug collection aside). Steve and Zoe were attentive throughout the day (making sure that we didn’t slice our fingers off; we didn’t) and made sure we were comfortable with what we were doing. I think for all of us, the course wasn’t just about learning new skills, it was about building our confidence to drill the s**t out of some wood. Because at the end of the day, we are in control of the tool, and the wood doesn’t feel pain, so why the need for fear?

If you follow me on Instagram, I’m sorry to bomb your screens again with my little creation:


Enter a caption


I’m not going to lie, I am pretty chuffed. Can’t wait to get it home and slap on a bit of paint! Steve and Zoe have more workshops lined up so check them out!

#GIRLSWHODIY – Easter Bank Holiday Edition

This weekend was Bank Holiday weekend, so along with 95% of the population in the UK I went to my local DIY store and panic-bought a load of stuff with the intention of spending this weekend DIY-ing.

I was sticking to #BasicBitchDIY this weekend because I had a social life. I’ve learnt to hoard all the tools and materials that I need for every job possible, and just do whatever I feel like at the time. There’s nothing worse than a DIY To Do List; the arch-enemy of creativity. This weekend I kept things simple by accessorising my kitchen.

First up was filling the hole to my Gin Shelf/Larder. The larder was originally the cupboard where the water tank was stored. I got a fancy new boiler when I moved in which negated the need for a water tank. I removed the door and ta-da! The Gin Shelf/larder was born (after much work though). The top part was boarded up which made it look dark and dingy so I removed the board, had a light installed, put up a few baten shelves and then… left it for a few months. The hole where the board was looked really unsightly so I finally put in it’s place some hollow polycarbonate sheet so that the light would come through into the kitchen, plus I had some retro textures.

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Ta-da! Thanks to some fancy hollow polycarbonate sheet.

Job number 2 was displaying yet more of my extensive mug collection. I HAVE TOO MANY MUGS and they were taking up valuable cupboard space so I decided to screw some hooks into the bottom of my IKEA Mosslanda ledges to put them on display. Easy.

Photo 17-04-2017, 17 22 59 (1)


Job number 3 was to cover up my horrendous sink area. I don’t have a cupboard under the sink and opted to cover up the crap with some beautiful fabric from local printmaker Emma Hardicker. To my shame, I bought this fabric nearly a year ago and have only just decided where it should go. I originally planned to make a blind but realised that was pointless because I really like looking out of my kitchen window! I also used some of the fabric to cover up a doorless cupboard and to give the kitchen a bit more colour and texture. A job well done methinks.

Photo 17-04-2017, 16 05 18

Crap under the sink? What crap?


Photo 17-04-2017, 17 21 34

That’s better.

Anyone that I know IRL (in real life) will know that the past year has been one of many DIY traumas. A year ago in March, I became a homeowner; fantastic – I was finally investing my money rather than paying dead money in rent. However, I was not just a standard home owner: I was an owner of a do-er up-per. That was the point I reached #PeakConnie. I don’t do things by halves and I often chose the most difficult route to pursue, just so that I can feel like I’ve achieved something. Phd ≥ Doing Up a Flat.

I was full of optimism when I first moved in. Gutting the place was easy, except where stuff was really high up, in which case I had to ask someone else to do it because I couldn’t reach. It was therapeutic to tear things down and chuck it in the skip; I was making this MY home. However, reality set in when I started having nightmares about decor. I literally went through 50 shades of grey paint samples because I couldn’t find ‘the right grey’. And no, I still don’t know what that is.

The main problem was that Papa Wan had no DIY skills whatsoever. This is the man who was super proud of mounting the new bathroom mirror, before I pointed out that it was not centrally aligned with the sink (it was to the left, but not aligned to anything…). This is the man who didn’t see the need to put masking tape on when he re-painted the bathroom ceiling, nor wipe off the dribbles of paint that resulted. I was screwed (pun intended). I had a basic idea of how things were structured, but no clue when it came to the basics such as drilling a hole in the wall. Yeah, drilling holes into walls made me worry A LOT. However, I was lucky enough to have the amazeballs support from some really great friends who not only taught me how to do stuff, but also that it was okay to ask for help when I needed it. I’m not going to lie, the latter was the most difficult.

Forget Papa Wan, I’m going to do a massive plug for The Dual Works here. If it wasn’t for Steve and Zoe, I would not have my cosy little spinster pad. Steve and Zoe are both Creative Extraordinaires and fellow cheese enthusiasts. Steve doesn’t like gin but I chose overlook that as he gave me a lot of help and advice when it came to the nitty gritty of DIY; it turned out that I knew nothing about power tools. Steve always explained and demonstrated, then allowed me to finish the job. Sometimes you just need someone to believe that you’re capable of putting up a shelf. A year on and I’ve laid my own laminate floor, put up my own shelves, built and tiled my own kitchen (a small thank you to Wickes) and installed my own wardrobe. And I have drilled many, many holes into my walls in the process.

Just so that you know, girls can f***ing DIY too.

*KLAXON* IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT: Steve and Zoe are running a series of Girls with Power Tools courses! Sign up now for some new life skills!bh

Good Eats – Two Cats Kitchen

Two Cats Kitchen is definitely in my top 5 dining experiences, like, ever. The food there makes me squeal with delight (quite literally); the textures and flavours are so unexpected (yet obvious at the same time), each mouthful is a little morsel of  joy. With a 7-course taster menu, that’s a lot of little morsels. The restaurant is known for it’s ‘New Baltic’ fayre using fresh, seasonal ingredients. Simple ingredients + curious (and talented) chef = EPIC DELICIOUSNESS. I can’t explain how half the things were cooked or created, but I sure had fun trying to work it all out as I ate.

When I visited for the first time last year, I left with a warm and fuzzy feeling. The 2 dishes that stuck in my mind: this wonderful lamb that was so pretty and pink, and a desert that comprised of sorrel leaves, granita and granola. I will never forget my first mouthful of the sorrel. I expected it to taste like spinach – it did not. The wonderful sourness and the ice-cold granita made it taste like a really grown-up deconstructed ice lolly. The granola, oddly, provided the creamy taste and texture. Who would have thunk?

A few weeks ago a friend heard that they were DROPPING THE BALTIC. WTF. We booked immediately. I called, gave my booking details in haste, and was then told about the un-Balticness – I admitted that I didn’t really care. Whatever they were going to serve, it was going to be delicious. I needed to experience it STAT.


The Jewellery Quarter at dusk



7 courses plus a cheeseboard. #noregrets

The menu went something like this:

Sorrel, savoury granola, whipped cream cheese
Watermelon, shallot, olive, onion, mint and sumac
Cured mackerel, turnip, shisho, honey & marmite
Steamed octopus, chia, onion and ponzu
Pork neck, asparagus and wild garlic
Rhubarb, cognac, tarragon, ginger and pepper
Chocolate, dried elderberries, brazil nuts, dark rye and lemon balm

I love the simplicity of this menu. No fancy words, no fuss. My favourite courses were the steamed octopus, pork neck and rhubarb. The octopus was soft and succulent (can octopus be succulent?) topped with a crispy sheet of chia seeds; the texture and taste of which oddly reminded me of fried salmon skin. The textures and flavours complemented each other so well – the healthy ‘salmon skin’ really brought out the taste of the sea. The pork neck was completely out of this world; cooked in a sous vide for 24 hours then fried quickly in a hot pan, the texture was melt-in-the-mouth with just the right fat-to-lean-meat ratio. Yes, I think I just said ‘fat-to-lean-meat ratio’. The wild garlic that it was served with was superbly pungent without being too sharp or overbearing (although I could taste garlic for the rest of the evening). The rhubarb. Oh my days the rhubarb. It was crunchy, sharp and really cold. Not really how it’s usually served. I could not get over the texture – imagine celery (actually, don’t, it’s the food of the devil) but sharp and juicy. Apparently it had been sealed in a vacuum pack with sugar to ‘cook’ the rhubarb. This was the course that made me squeal with delight; such an unexpected surprise.

Would I go there again? Hell yes. But probably not for a season or two when there are new flavours to try. At £49 for 7 courses (an additional £10 if you want to add a cheese board) it isn’t the most expensive or fancy of tasting menus. But then that’s not really what the Two Cats are about. However, it’s worth trying if you want to entertain your culinary senses.

Did I say ‘delightful’ enough in this post? Probs not.

Goodbye Flo.

This week’s post was supposed to be about my delicious visit to The Two Cats. However, I experienced some mild peril that I feel I need to talk about. Last week on the way back from the depths of Wolverhampton, I had a small traffic accident. This small accident cost me my car, known endearingly as Flo, who has been my right hand (drive) lady for the past 12 years.

The accident itself was very minor; I bumped into the back of a scrap metal truck. The truck escaped unscathed (it had seen better days anyway) but little Flo suffered a bit of a knock:



When I returned, I had to face the trauma of calling the insurance company. In my flustered state, I called my old insurance company who were good enough to remind me I renewed my policy with a new insurer and they put me straight through to them. What lovely people (their kindness almost tipped me over the edge). A few phone calls plus 12 hours later, I found out that they decided to write her off. I received the cheque for the damage the morning after. That was it, she was going to get scrapped. I accidentally on purpose avoided calling back the scrappers just so that I could have a few days to process the situation.

This post is probably beginning to sound really boring now, but I do have a point somewhere. Being told that my trusty car is no longer road-worthy brought back a flood of memories; I never really thought I was that attached to her, but I am. Oddly, I’m quite aware of my sentimental attachment to what I call ‘stuff’ that is in my flat (cuddly toys, SO MANY CUDDLY TOYS THAT I DID NOT BUY) but I never realised my attachment to this massive machine that I drive around all the time.

I bought my first car when I was 19; a cute blue Nissan Micra – I was continuing my mother’s legacy of having a Micra as a first car. Jo (as he was called) was… okay. He kinda got me places but I wasn’t really that fussed by him (the same goes for some of my relationships). When I found out that I got a place to do a Masters in Birmingham, I decided I needed a beefier car to support my commute. I remember looking at VWs and I think I even got into a Fiat Punto at one point but there was one small problem – they were all a bit massive. Yes, it turns out that reaching things (pedals) is quite essential when it comes to driving. I was dead against a Yaris, mainly because my dad kept saying I should get one (I do not do anything that my parents suggest) and reluctantly got in one to test drive. I remember thinking ‘Crap. I really like this car (and I can reach the pedals without getting cramp).’ Then pursued a short argument with the salesman about having to pay extra for car mats. CONNIE WAN DOES NOT PAY EXTRA FOR CAR MATS. I won and got cheap alloy wheels too.

Getting a car felt like all of a sudden, I had the freedom to go anywhere and do anything that I wanted. And go anywhere and do anything I did.

The 12 years we’ve spent together has definitely felt like 12 years. She’s moved me to 3 different addresses, had to deal with 4 different commutes, and she’s driven me to the extremities of this island we live on. That time I had to drive after spending a weekend learning to surf was the most painful drive of my life; who knew that putting the gear stick into reverse could be so painful? More recently there was an incident where I pulled/tore my calf muscle at dance class and there was a small chance that I could not drive home. Luckily I could, but made sure a friend was in the car with me in case my calf decided to jack it in during the 5-minute journey.

Not being able to drive Flo feels a bit like breaking a leg. There are loads of possibilities within reach, but I can’t get to them right now. My freedom has been restricted. Trips have been put on hold and errands have had to be postponed until a replacement (no car can replace Flo!) is found.

I did eventually pluck up the courage to call the scrappers; they are booked for Tuesday morning. Whilst I’m a bit excited by the prospect of a new car, it feels more of a burden because Flo, technically, still functions. She just looks a bit worse for wear. That’s probably an analogy for how I’ll end up one day. Brain’s still a-ticking but back and knees a-cricking.